In the age of email, instant messaging, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram the lines of wedding etiquette are often blurred. To find out more, we consulted etiquette expert and co-author of Wedding Etiquette, Lizzie Post for her thoughts. The general rule? When it comes to weddings and technology, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Read her Q & A and find out what you should consider before pressing send.
Q. We know it’s a huge no-no to send invitations or thank you notes via email. Is it ever okay to use social media and email during the process?
A. If you are a big crusader for electronic forms of communication and you in your personal life have made a large effort to be aware of your carbon footprint, this is where I would say it’s okay to email an invitation. In all other situations, there’s something that just doesn’t feel right about it. For everything else, including showers and bachelorette parties, you can use e-invitations. Just remember to whom you are it sending to. If you are inviting Aunt Lois to the bridal shower and you know that she never checks her email, calling her or sending a handwritten invitation is appropriate at that point. Otherwise, she won’t get the invitation!
Thank you notes should never be done over email. Remember that people spent time and money supporting you and the least you can do is write them a quick note.
Q: Is it okay to send an informal email asking guests to save the date?
A: Yes, an electronic Save the Date is okay! Once couples have pinned down their wedding date, sending an early and informal note alerting friends and family to put that date aside is fine. Again, remember who you are send it to. If grandma doesn’t have an email address, you should consider giving her a quick call.
Q: Can you list an email address for the RSVP?
A: It is acceptable to give your guests the option of emailing the RSVP to you as opposed to using the printed response card. If it’s a really short turnaround of when guests need to RSVP by, that’s when an email RSVP will serve you better.
Q: Should you use both?
A: I think it’s best to included both. At the very bottom of the response card, include “replies also welcome at” with the email address. Most importantly, remember to give the date you need their response by.
Q: Everyone seems to have a wedding website. Do you need one to keep guests informed?
A: It’s not necessary, but my does it help! I think it really helps people answer questions on their own. It’s that place where everything can be, hotel links, travel deals, car rentals, your registry. It can all be in that one location. Also, if your guests lose anything, they can find it there.
Q. What’s the best way to let your guests know about your online registry?
A: The website. Never on the invitation, always on the website.
Need more advice? Pick up the 6th Edition of Wedding Etiquette by Anna Post and Lizzie Post.
Be sure to check back in with us for more etiquette tips from Anna and Lizzie, too!
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