Lizzie Post’s Advice For Thank You Note Etiquette

Etiquette maven and co-author of Wedding Etiquette, 6th EditionLizzie Post takes on the task of helping us write thank you notes! Follow her Q&A and learn her quick tricks for dividing up the list, when to send and whom to thank. 


Q. When you receive a gift, when should you send a thank you note?

A. As soon as possible! For wedding gifts, you should send a thank you within three months of the wedding. If you have been receiving gifts before your wedding, write a note as soon as you open the gift. It will be one less note to write after the wedding!

Don’t forget, your new spouse can be the person to also write thank you notes! An easy way to divide up the list is by whom the gift giver was invited by. If the gift came from someone my spouse invited, then he or she should write the thank you note. It makes it more personal that way.

Q. We know that thanking people isn’t limited to gift-givers. Who else should you remember to thank?
A. I think you should take the time to thank your bridal party for all of their contributions to your big day. It doesn’t have to be a note, it could be a phone call to let them know you appreciate them. I would continue that same sentiment to family members who are helping you with the wedding.

Q. Should couples invest in personalized stationery or are store-bought cards okay?
A. Store bought cards are fine; it’s really a matter of preference. I do think it’s nice to get something on more formal stationary, but it’s certainly not necessary. What you want to avoid is a generic printing that says, “thank you so much for the lovely gift” or something of that nature. Make sure it’s a heartfelt, handwritten thank you note.

Q. Any words of advice for writing the perfect note?
A. Three little sentences, a greeting, the thank you and a close.

Q. What’s the most common thank you note faux pas and how do you avoid it?
A. The most common mistake is that people forget to write them! Make sure you have plenty of stationary and stamps so it won’t slip your mind.


Need more advice? Pick up the 6th Edition of Wedding Etiquette by Anna Post and Lizzie Post. Be sure to check back in with us for more etiquette tips from Anna and Lizzie, too!

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Lizzie Post’s Advice For Gift Registry Etiquette

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