Wedding RSVP Card Etiquette from Lizzie Post

If you’ve done any research into the world of wedding invitation suites (or if you’ve just been invited to more than one wedding this summer), you’ve probably noticed how incredibly diverse they can be. Sometimes there’s a save the date, followed by a full invitation suite. Sometimes it’s just a simple card with a web address on it.  While there’s plenty of room for creativity, there’s also some key parts of your invitation that need to be clear and simple — namely your RSVP cards (you want to know who’s actually coming, right?).

invitationInvitation suite from Pottery Barn’s collection with Wedding Paper Divas. Photo by Steve Steinhardt.

We spoke to etiquette maven Lizzie Post to get the scoop on what you should keep in mind for your wedding RSVP cards. Read on to get her advice!

Online only. “People are RSVPing online more and more. I think it’s a really good idea if you have a back up plan. Because some people, like my 87-year-old grandmother, are going to have a hard time figuring out how to RSVP online.  Know who you’re inviting and have other options for people — like a phone number, email address and website.”

Decide on the date. “For your own sake, give yourself time. Remember that you’ll need time to process them, and people will need time to return them. I’d recommend 3 to 4 weeks. It’s the only way to stay sane.”

Stamp it! “Make sure your RSVP cards are pre-addressed and stamped, so there’s no excuse for guests not to return them.”

Following up. “When you haven’t received word from people, you’ll want to reach out to them individually to confirm whether or not they can attend. I’d suggest calling — never do something like a group email.”

Plus one please. “It’s totally up to your discretion who gets a plus one and who doesn’t. However if it’s an established couple — they’re living together, engaged, married or have a relationship over a significant amount of time — both parties should be invited. Other than that, it’s totally up to you.”


Need more advice? Pick up the 6th Edition of Wedding Etiquette by Anna Post and Lizzie Post. Be sure to check back in with us for more etiquette tips from Anna and Lizzie, too!


You may also like:  

Lizzie Post’s Advice for Thank You Note Etiquette
Lizzie Post’s Advice For Gift Registry Etiquette
Lizzie Post’s Advice For Your Guest List


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